okay...

[skylark913]

so, i haven't updated in a while. first i got sidetracked, what with <3 day and all. then the past couple of days have been shit. no, not even shit. worse than that, because shit can be used for fertilizer. i dunno, i've been really down. i think it's just stress. i mean, there was prolly something else that triggered it, but other than that, i dunno. i spent the last three days crying, the past two night crying myself to sleep. and i feel horrible because my parents always seem upset when i cry and i feel like i'm doing something wrong or disappointing them when i do, which in turn makes me feel like i can't, and then feel even worse. i'm so glad i took everything out of my room, otherwise i fear things would have gotten a lot worse, but luckily, i didn't want to leave my room, so i'm okay. talking with ben really helped. he let me kinda talk through stuff, and then we just talked and he took my mind off everything, so that was nice. tomorrow i go up to OSU for that scholarship test. i'm a little worried about that, but not too much. i also get to take a short tour thing, so that'll be nice. this is my first college visit i'bve taken. and only my second time up to OSU. last time i went was in 8th grade, heh. i'm excited, it should be fun, plus i get out of school, so yay! homecoming was really fun. we went to dinner with people and then to the dance. it was real good time. i love spending time with ben. then <3 day was fun. i went over to ben's house for dinner and we exchanged gifts. he gave my a whole ton of kisses. eew, you sicko, chocolate ones :P i gave him princess bracelets and necklace, they were candy, and some mojo pills too, hehe. anyways, i think maybe i'm starting to feel better. on saturday we're going over to don's for a double date-ish thing. we're watching ghost in the shell. it should be a good time. ciao